Episode 2: LYNDA…….All Eyes On Me.

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We live in a world where a successful woman is a threat to the ego of men. Men easily get intimidated by my little accomplishments. I don’t get it at all. A poor lady that has nothing can easily blend with a wealthy man but very difficult when the reverse is the case. Yet, they claim to be strong. I don’t get it at all. What’s so difficult in overlooking a woman’s accomplishment and pay more attention to her as a person. What should define her is who she is, not what she is. That is where they got it all wrong and where their myopia is made evident.

Read Also: Episode 1: LYNDA……All Eyes On Me

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate men. I hate their archaic perception of women. I hate some of their “imbecilic” attitude towards a career and goal oriented lady. I hate when they assume that every successful woman is arrogant and disrespectful. I think, respect comes when you deserve it, not when you demand it. You don’t expect me to respect you when you exhibits stupidity and cowardice. I hate it when even abusive men demand respect from their abused wives. I hate those attitudes in men, maybe that’s why most of them feel intimidated by me. Most men detest strong women.

At my age I’ve met so many men, of different heights and sizes. Some came for fun and some for something serious. Those that came for fun, I put them where they belong. One thing I know very well is how to embarrass a man who came to mess around with me. The ones that came for something serious I gave time to prove themselves. And like those before them, crashed out. Being a billionaire that moves among the high and mighty in the society, all the men that came to me where either not so rich, rich or super rich. 

Money has never been an issue, I have enough. The immaturity of most of the men drove me away from them. It’s quite annoying when a man that supposedly wants to be my boyfriend starts behaving like a mere fan. They seem to be overwhelmed by my status in the society and didn’t quite figure how to handle me. Of course, I want my man to be my number one fan, but not to treat me like one. He should know how to treat me like a man, seeing me as Lynda Chioma, not as Blogger Lyn. That’s where most of them failed to draw the line. Like Tunde Adenuga, the son of Wale Adenuga, one of the richest men in Lagos.

It was at an AY Live Comedy show hosted at Ikoyi Hotel and Suites that my short lived romance with Tunde started. We sat not too far from each other at the VIP table. I didn’t even notice him, neither did I notice any guy at the show. At that period, man was the least thing on my mind. I was executing a project that worth a lot of money and didn’t need any distraction.

“Tunde has been starring at you since we came in here.” Jane whispered to me.

Jane has been my friend for longer than I can recollect. She came from the same region with me and just like me, a workaholic. We also attended UNILAG together.

“Which Tunde?”
“Adenuga’s son.”
“Adenuga the tycoon?”
I turned and caught him looking at me, he turned away feeling embarrassed.
“The guy is in love.” Jane teased. 

“Is that how they fall in love in your place Mbaise?”
“You didn’t see how he was looking at you and smiling?”
“Please. He should go and find his type.”

Tunde Adenuga wasn’t my type of man. I had once published an extensive article on him, over his escapades with women. A spoilt brat that sees every woman as being cheap, that with his father’s fame he could get any lady to his bed. He was notorious at UNILAG where he had numerous girlfriends. The stories I heard of him wasn’t pleasant at all. As my favourite comedian mounted the stage, my attention was drawn away from Tunde.

“Area,” I-Go-Die shouted.
“Heyy!” The audience chorused. 
“Today I no wan talk about Atutu boyoyo. I go tell una about one Ajikpako and Ajibutter.”
Everybody was smiling, ready for a good laugh. 

“One Ajikpako wey dem dey call Akpos go holidays for one Ajibutter dem house for VGC. The next day shit begin dey worry am, na im he waka enter toilet. And Akpos never see toilet wey dem dey flush before for im life. He shit finish, look the shit, the shit dey look am. He come confuse, for their house na pit latrine dem get. He waka reach the door, waka go back. He looked inside, the shit look am back. Which kain wahala be this? As wafi boy wey him be, he come decide on what to do. Warri no dey carry last naw. He commot him slippers, use am dey push the shit. As he dey push, the shit dey dance around for the water. He look at the shit, the shit look am back. Life come tire am. He called the Ajibutter make he come help am. Una know wetin this yeye Ajibutter do?”

“No….” the audience chorused. 
“He told Akpos to use his…..”
He stopped as he noticed me.
“Oh Lynda you dey here?” He said.
I waved at him, wondering what he was going to say next.
“I no say after the show now you go go find wetin you go write. Abeg, na joke I dey oo.”

We all laughed. That guy is funny, together with Okey Bakassi, Bovi and Basket Mouth. The four of them performed that day in what happened to be the best stand up comedy show I ever attended. Tunde kept on looking at me throughout the show but I ignored his glances completely. At the end of the show he made me realize how stupid I was to have underestimated his ability.

He played me like Jay Jay Okocha.

To Be Continued.

Composed & Written by
Kelechi Goodluck Onuoha.
© ’19.

This is a fictional reality.

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