FROM MY INBOX….. A married woman bares her soul 

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***Long post alert****

Shared to Winnerzblog by Kelechi Onuoha Goodluck

Kacy I just read that post in your group from that woman posing as President of side chics association and much as I later understood it was sarcasm, it evoked a lot of bad memories for me about my previous experience with side chics. All the horrible memories of how my husband had a side chic that nearly destroyed my marriage a few years ago came tumbling back. Oh it brought tears to my eyes and although I have put the horrors of that time behind me, it is not something you forget in a hurry. 

Dear, I am a successful woman, a very successful one. I am very successful in what I do and to me I had the best of marriages. My husband and I are very successful now. But it wasn’t so in the beginning. I married him as a man who had nothing, I didn’t have much myself but we both built a mini empire for ourselves. I supported my husband so much and he supported me too, we both grew in our careers and we acquired lots is properties.

I thought everything was going well for us until I discovered that my husband had a mistress. Kacy I nearly died from pain. After 18 yrs of marriage, after standing with him through thick and thin, we scraped pot together, and I have never ever dreamt of cheating on him. I love my husband with the kind of love you can’t imagine. This is a man I could easily have died for. In that all consuming way a woman gives her soul, spirit and body into a marriage, that was me. I also treated him like a King, I am the submissive type. 

I was raised to know that my husband is my first baby and his needs come first even before mine. That is the extent of devotion I gave to my husband and marriage. Discovering that when he told me he was going on business trips, he actually took his side chic with him. Flew out of the country with her. They rendezvoused in Dubai, Paris, Italy. She posted one picture on social media of both of them. That was how a friend saw it and sent me screenshots of pictures to me. Nna you can imagine how broken I was. I thought I would go mad with pain.

I confronted him and he tried to deny it. Apparently he didn’t know she had posted the picture in her excitement. I don’t even know if she knew he was married. She had written “My Bae is dope” and she was obviously showing off her new catch to her friends. Kacy my husband denied to the extent of telling me the picture was photoshopped. I started digging. Nna I dug our more dirt. Her nudes on his phone, etc, let me not bore you. Bottom line is that I had too much evidence and he finally crumbled and cried so hard begging for my forgiveness. Kacy if you see the deep depression I went into. 18 yrs of marriage, which to me was an achievement because marriage is hard work and sacrifice and commitment and I had a good marriage or so I thought. You can’t imagine how much a loathed my husband in that period. I couldn’t stand him. I moved out of our room, I stopped sleeping with him. 

Our children caught on that something wasn’t right with us as I wouldn’t speak to him. I was crying all the time, I stopped going to work. The only reason I didn’t move out from my home was just the thought of her moving in in my place. Not when I laboured to build that house will I be alive for another woman to live in it with my husband. Not when the man my husband had become would not have been possible without me.

Girl I cleaned that man up real good, taught him how to be polished. Upgraded him to the extent that he was now good enough for a side chic. Not on my life would I vacate for her to come in. I saw chats that later proved to me that she knew he was married and even wanted to take my place. In his confession he showed me all their conversations. She said she would be 100 times better than me, that she already proved she was better than me in bed, that he has tasted her food and knows she is a wonderful cook. She was gunning for my marriage. I found out that she wanted me to find out that’s why she posted that picture. So that I will leave and she can move in with my husband. She said she will look after my kids well and will not maltreat them. She even said she doesn’t mind being a second wife.

JAMB lesson teacher filmed as he beats up female student in Lagos

That a man as handsome and wealthy as my husband is too big for one woman to handle. That he deserves 2 wives. My heart shattered to pieces but seeing her intention made me resolve further never to leave my marriage. I did not tell anybody, not even my parents knew. I didn’t also tell his family. I just prayed a lot. I cried a lot, I shouted and screamed at my husband a lot, I stopped cooking for him, to me he was undeserving of my devotion to him. I was so aggrieved my blood pressure was rising. I stopped sleeping and eating well and started losing weight. I am happy we lived far from my family and his otherwise someone would have noticed something wasn’t right with me. 

In my depressive frenzy, I contacted the girl on social media. I lashed out at her. Pls note that because I know what it feels like to have a cheating husband, I particularly detest fellow women who cannot empathise with a woman enough to realise that it is all shades of wrong to date another woman’s husband. I lashed out at her without thinking straight, it was a foolish thing to do and I did it impulsively out is anger.

In my mind I was imagining that this woman will one day get married, would she want another woman to sleep with her husband, I couldn’t understand how a woman could be that wicked and heartless. My sister my pain knew no bounds. This lady abused the life out of me. She told me that she will never leave my husband alone. That she was already pregnant for him. That he cannot leave her, not after sleeping with her in every position possible. She threw it in my face that she was at least 10yrs younger than me. That I was an old washed out cargo who needed to retire. That if I try to contact her, that she will make sure she publishes more of their pictures on the internet. Kacy I was broken. Imagine blackmail on too of sleeping with my husband.

My husband later confessed all the details of their affair to me, how it started, when he met her, and he showed tremendous remorse. For over 6 months I refused to sleep with him until I was sure the affair was over. I got him tested for STD, he gave me the password to his phone, social media accounts, emails, I demanded full transparency and he complied without delay. Thy was when I knew that a huge part of him wanted me back. He was always on his knees begging me not to leave him. This man cried tears of shame and remorse so many times. I was fully convinced of his repentance and I forgave him. Now we are happier than ever and we have a solid marriage better than before. I am so glad that affair did not destroy us. I am glad I forgave him. I wasn’t one to cheat back because I am too noble for that. I was deeply pained and that sarcastic post resurrected my pain. I feel better now after writing this, maybe it will help someone.

Pls post it. Hide my identity pls.

I just want to encourage wives to not run when a husband is repentant, don’t leave your marriage if it was a good one and you were not being abused. You can still get your marriage back, do not let the side chic win. Many of them want you to leave your marriage for them. Many are frustrated single women who are jealous of what you have with your husband. Many want already made men because they don’t want to work hard from scratch with their own man, they want to reap where they did now sow. My husband was the major offender but that side chic was a terrible human being.

If only women stop pulling each other down, men who want to hurt their wines will not succeed. If only side chics know they will one day be wives, they will not be foolish enough to want to reap where they did not sow by sleeping with another woman’s husband. Many single women hate their happily married counterparts and envy them their marriage, they want to pull the happy marriage of another woman so they can prove to themselves that they are better off single than married to Male themselves feel better. Meanwhile they want what you have, and will do just about anything to get it.

Married women 100
Side chics 0

Ada Ujaligwa. (Edited)

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