#TouchingLifeStory: Many Men Asked Me Out- Nkechi Bianze

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My true life story…

Many men have asked me out. I went into a relationship with some, I rejected some.

Several men have asked me to marry them. Most of them have moved on after I rejected them. They even got married. Many of them are my Facebook friends and they react to and make comments on my posts.

Most often than not, when I reject a man, we do NOT turn enemies. We just remain casual friends.

Of all the many men I’ve rejected, I regret just one. And I’ll tell you about him.

This guy met me when I was 18. I had finished secondary school and was at UNIZIK.

There is no enough words to describe how much this guy loved me. I guess part of what made me reject him was because I didn’t know how to deal with such amount of love from a none blood relative. He loved me so much I felt a little choked. He made it look like he would die without me.
I would offend him and he would cry and apologize to me.

If I had asked this guy for one of his kidneys, I believe he would have given it to me happily as long as it made me happy.

I REFUSED to get into a relationship with him. But he stuck around and continued showing me love.

There was a day he came to my room in my lodge. He knocked on the door and I refused to open the door. He stayed by my door for over an hour. It was a little obsessive but still innocent.

He was (still is) a government worker. His salary was almost same with the monthly allowance I got from my parents. Still, this guy would use about 25% of his salary to shop for me and give me money even though I never asked him for anything and I refused to date him.

When I left Nigeria, he told me he was going to wait. I asked him not to wait for me because I wasn’t going to wait for him. He told me he would still wait.

We kept chatting while I was studying in the UK.

I graduated and he asked me if I was ready to get married. I told him that that’s about the last thing on my mind. That I needed to do my master’s. He said he was still going to wait.

When I went to Nigeria in 2012, I saw him. He was still all over me. He adored me like he had done for almost 6 years. He drove down from Asaba to Agbor to see me as often as I allowed him.

When I went to Nigeria in 2013, I refised to see him. I need some space and “fresh air”.

I refused to talk to him again regularly.

In 2014, he sent me a message on Facebook telling me that was ready to get married. And he had waited for me for almost 8years and wanted to try and move on.

I asked him to move on.

He got into a relationship and told me. He told me that he would leave the girl if I accept him. I told him to love that girl and focus his attention on her.

In 2015, he told me that he was getting married in 3months. That he would cancel the preparations if I accept him.

I asked him “Do you love her?”

He said “Yes, but not as much as I love and have loved you for years.”

I asked him “Does she love you?”

He said “Yes, I’m convinced she does love me.”

So, I told him to carry on with his preparations and focus on his fiancee because he deserves a woman who loves him. Not a woman who would tolerate him.

READ ALSO: #Touching: Straight from a sincere heart

They got married in 2015. They had a baby in 2016.

In 2017, I started regretting it all.

This guy loved me to the moon and back. I don’t know if I will ever meet a man who would love me as much as that guy did.

He was my spec. Intelligent, feminist, educated, employed (even though a low income earner). But I felt nothing for him. It was in 2017 when he chat me up to wish me a happy birthday that I suddenly felt a scale fall off my head. I realized that I threw something special away when I chose to reject him.

I’m 100% convinced he loved me so much. Only that we met when I was 18, and I didn’t know how to handle such love and attention.

If he were single still, I would have married him before June this year.

For 9years, this guy begged me to date and marry him and I refused. He got tired of waiting and moved on. Two years after he got married, I realized that I should have given him a chance.

Just last week, I told my mum this story. She wasn’t happy that I never told him about the guy. She said she would have encouraged me to give him a chance. And I think I made a mistake not telling my mum about him. Yes, I tell my mum about almost every serious toaster.


By-the-way, one of my elder sisters has a very similar story. In her case, my parents knew about the guy. They met when she was 17. They got married almost 10years after they met and after her too many shakara.

I still wish I had given that guy a chance. His love was pure, innocent, tolerant (he took all my shits), and sincere. I just realized too late… after over a decade.

I don’t know the moral of this story. But maybe a younger girl out there would read this and pick up one or two things from it.

The guy that I wrote about is active on my wall. I’m 99% sure he would read this. And I guess he would just smile.

He is active on my wall some of you might have even read a few of his comments. Yeah, I’ve got quite a number of ex-toasters on my list of Facebook friends. And most of them read me.

My prayer of a husband is that I meet a man as good as my Dad, who would adore me as much as this guy did.

Did you ever experience such from a man or woman? Did you give them a chance? Did you end up getting married?

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